Location: Chicago, Illinoise

I pitch for the Chi. White Sox and in the winters I go back to Terre Haute which is wear I am from.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Tiger Would Is In Trouble

Well Al they are all up set because Tiger Would has played Cover the Putter with any thing in knickers. Now every 1 wants to know if you are a famous man do all women want to make the Squeaking Aardvark with you.

Well Al I do not find that Celebrity helps your Batting Average and by Batting Average I do not mean baseball it is a Metta Four it means what percentage of women want to have Sex with you.

Like the other day I was at Sanka Irish Pub here in Terre Haute and this girl came in who was wearing the cutest shoes and sat next to me at the bar and I bought her a Brandy Stinker and she smiled lots and went off to powder her nose and came back with a difrent pair of shoes on with little spiky round heels that is how you know an Indiana girl likes you. Well she said what broad Shoulders I had and how she likes men with broad Shoulders and I said it is no wonder during the season I pitch for the Chi. White Sox. And she said ooooh a baseball player I know it what was your Won Lost record last year. I said that Won Lost record was not a good Parometer for judging Pitchers and she said so what is your WHIP. I thought she was getting fresh and I said I only take my whip out if I know its for a good cause and she laughed and took out a Lap Top and opened Microsoft Axle Al. She figured my FIP and my WHIP and my DIPS and my NARWHAL and then she said Sugar I really can't accept a drink from you I got a little peeved and showed her that I have a World Serious ring but by this time she was slipping her walking Shoes back on. Now you may think it is all a life of Feather Beds in the majors but I have been Silly Bate since Twenty Oh Six and part of it is there are just too many God Dam statistics on the Web they print every thing now except the Girth of your Member and I blame Sean Forehead.


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