Jack Keefe's Blog

Location: Chicago, Illinoise

I pitch for the Chi. White Sox and in the winters I go back to Terre Haute which is wear I am from.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Should the Mets Sine Bonds Al

Well now they are all up set should the Mets sign Barely Bonds and is he a distraction because his Skil Set is so Narrow. Al these guys with their nose in a Spread Sheet do not know how baseball is played let me explain Al. Baseball is for those who can do certain things like Barely Bonds can hit a home run if he takes his stereos and Scott Cashmere can change speeds on his pitches and Joe Creed can throw from his knees in back of third base and A.J. Pierogi can run to first base in the playoffs on Strike Three. You do not need to be a Reefer Johnson or a Jim Thorpe to play the game this is no punt pass and kick Al. Now look at us Sox we half Jim Toomey who runs as fast as a Deep Freeze and threw away his first basemans mitt and Won Your eBay who cannot hit his way out of Paper or Plastic and Nick Swishy who was taught by Billy Bean never to swing his bat only wait for the base on balls and me Jack Keefe who never got the hang of the Breaking Pitch but we are in 1st place as usual and we have our World Serious Rings which I do not see on the Mets pinkies lately. It just goes to show you Al that you can not play baseball on papper you need Tools and as Ozzie Guillen always says to me Keefe you are the biggest Tool in the Box.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Why We Sox Have Dolls Al

Well now they are all up set because we Chisox have life size dolls in our club house called Cyndee and Raylee but there is a miss understanding Al. Yes we call Cyndee and Raylee our Slump Busters but there is nothing Impure about it. When you are having trouble getting the old pill across the platter you need to practice practice practice as the man said which way to Canarsie Hall. So in the tunnel in the Cell we set up a regulation home plate and a rubber 60 feet 6 away and we prop up Cyndee or Raylee she bats left and Cyndee right. Yes there is a bat in their Posterior but that is just so they will stand up otherwise you know a doll will fall over it is not Buy Pedal. Now lets say I need my slump busted I stand on the rubber and A.J. Pierogi squats behind Cyndee and I fire it in there till I can throw strikes again and Ozzie Guillen umpires and says Good toss Keefe that one was at her Naval or too fine Keefe that one was at the top of her Rack. It just goes to show you never jump to Conclusions like if you see a needle in someones locker he is not always on the stereos he could be a Dialabetic or just have dwarfism and need Huge Growth Whoremoan.