Jack Keefe's Blog

Location: Chicago, Illinoise

I pitch for the Chi. White Sox and in the winters I go back to Terre Haute which is wear I am from.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Whats on Primer lately

Well Al on Primer yesterday we had a discussion of the Barack Obrella Health plan and the usual fifteen lawyers and colledge Proffs and Certifiable Pubic Accountants talkt. Yet when you read the thred the only person who makes any sense is some 1 named Meat Wad. That tells you allot about America today Al four instance if you are sick and you make $400K like me you have Insurance and if a fraction of my Tommy John Tendon gets out of Whack Mr Reinsdork will wisk me to Rush Street Presbyterian and they will replaice it for free with the sinews of a Nostrich. Yet if some 1 who does not play big league ball has Dialabetes and no Insurance then they must Waist away and they cannot even sell a Kidney to get better because the Dialabetes shoots their Kidneys all to Hell like my pal Winfred Brimley says on TV. Now most Liberaltarians think this is fine because if you have the Dialabetes it is because you sucked on two many Milk Duds when you were a Tot and you didnt study hard for the Essay Tee or work on your curve ball like me and so you have no Insurance and to Hell with you. This sounds like Nasty Germany to me but I did not want to Tom Goodwin a perfectly good Thread Al and so I said no Moor.

But then today Al this thread has taken some terns it was about Barack Obrella and the National Health Surface for a while and then the Post Orifice and then it settled into terms for naughty Acts and whether they were introduced into our Language by Man Loving Americans. Well Al it is a little known fact that most terms about Sexual Congress were invented by baseball players and they have some relation to our national Game Al. Take for instance a list of common hip things that young people do to enjoy 1 another in Bed like the well known 1s

Straddling the Bag
Twin Killing
Urban Shocker
Daisy Cutter
Texas Leaguer
Dialing Nine
Four Seamer
Doug Mientkiewicz

Now these may sound Sugdestive but they are wholesome activities and enjoyed by Opposite Attracting Americans and Light in the Loafer Americans and Mullet Wearing Women Americans and all stripes in Between you know me Al I throw no 1 out of the Club House for eating crackers in bed with some other Male individual if both are of age and Consisting Adults.

T-Mac Has a Albom

Well Al they are all up set because T-Mac Carver has cut an Albom of song stylings what of it Al he can not be worst than William Shatner or Tiny Tim or Cher. In fact do not tell any 1 but this Fall an Albom by Yours Truly will appear on shelves it will be intitled Jack Keefe's Songs for Swinging Lovers and the Albom cover will be me throwing 1 past David Ortease for Strike Three get it Swinging Lovers Al its a Pun. Well I know you are Dyeing to hear the table of Contents so here goes but keep it under your Hat Al. Side 1 is That Old Black Magic, You Really Got Me, Vaccinatin' Rhythm, Bongo Bongo Bongo I Dont Wanna Leave the Congo, The Lyons Leaps Tonite, Istanbul Not Constantinople, and My Son Calls Another Man Daddy. On the Flip Side you will hear A Hoarse with No Name, The Monster Mash, Nites in White Satin, Moonlight in Vermont, Smoak Gets In Your Eyes, When You Find a Man with True Grit, and Shiloh When I Was Young. Plus a bonus If I Were A Carpenter and You Were a Lady which I recoarded as a Duvet with A. J. Pierogi. If this Albom sells OK Al they are going to bring me back for A Jack Keefe Christmas which any red blooded Boy would be happy to find in his Stocking with tracks like Bring a Torch Here Dustin Pedroia and The Holly and Mike Ivie.