Jack Keefe's Blog

Location: Chicago, Illinoise

I pitch for the Chi. White Sox and in the winters I go back to Terre Haute which is wear I am from.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Strat-O-Matic Al

Now what we need Al is Ask Jack Keefe a Live Web Chat and then you would have some ansers from a guy who does not live in his moms basement but in his very own room upstairs Al with my Pooh Bear and my Lionel Train set like any other red blooded American. Now for instance take this question that was soft tost to Bill James a reader asks What do you think of games such as Strat-O-Matic baseball? How well do they simulate reality? well I can take that 1. They simulate it 100% well like just yester day me and A.J. Pierogi played Strat O Matic he was the 1927 Yankees and I was the 2005 White Sox it was the baddle of the Ages Al. Well we were rolling our bones and who should come up but Lou Gehrig with two men on to face starting pitcher Jack Keefe and AJ said lets make this interesting Keefe I bat left like Gehrig and you throw right like Keefe so why not have you pitch to me so we went to opposite sides of the Club House and I threw him three speed balls and AJ whiffed naturally so down went Gehrig only Ozzie Guillen came out and said any more Strat O Matic in the Club House and you guys will be running back to Chi. from Twos On behind the team Bus like Forrest Flipping Gump only he did not say Flipping Al.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

White Folks and Barack Al

Well Al now they are all up set because Barack Obrella has a minister who says God Dam America which is what I say most nites when I watch the Evening News and I see Mr Bush hugging the Easter Bunny whilst another four boys are blown up in Eye Rack. Now Al I will explain what white Folks want from Obrella which is easy four me to do because I am a typical White Person Al at least so says Mr Williams and Ozzie Guillen just the other day Ozzie Guillen said to me Keefe you are as white as bleached coconut milk. What white Folks want from Mr Obrella is this he should be a black Person but he should not know any other black People. So lets say Mr Farrah Caan says he knows Obrella then Obrella must say I know no Farrah Caan I denounce and rebuke him. And then Rev Wright says he has known Obrella since he was a pup and Mr Obrella must say I know Thee Knot. It is like Mr Ernie Banks once told me about his days in Chi. before I was borned he said to me once Keefe it was like this I could be on the Cubs and I could have a Roommate of Color like Gene Baker but they did not like to see us Frater Noise with other Ball Players of color or we would not longer be popular in Chi. or with any white fans. It is sad to say that Al but you see what typical white Persons are like now my self I do not care if a Ball Player is white or black or brown or yellow though I draw the line at Teal but some folks are not like this when we won the World Serious in '05 there were some Sox who shall be nameless but if they came into the Club House and German Die was standing next to Carl Everett they would reach for their phones and dial halfway to Nine One One before they remembered these guys were our Team Mates Al.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Hilary or Barack Al

Well Al what every 1 is now dying to know is whether I Jack Keefe support Hilary Clinton or Barack Obrella. Well as you know Al I am registered to vote in Texas where I half a Pedo Tair from my days when I played for the Boise Idahoes in the Deaf Smith League so yester day I drove back to Texas from Two's On and I voted for Hilary in the a.m. and then for Barack at nite. They have it set up in Texas where you can vote twice or more times last nite at the Mothers of Invention Elementary School in Boise they ran out of sign in sheets at the caucus sowe had to use coloring book pages and I got a little carried away and wrote in the whole starting line up of the '05 Sox and I had Conoco and Little Gucci for Barack and German Die and Chris Widget voting for Hilary and Carl Everett voting for William Jennings Bryan and this morning I read we had 230 per cent turn out in Deaf Smith and Mark Burly is chosed county delegate for Joe Biden.