Jack Keefe's Blog

Location: Chicago, Illinoise

I pitch for the Chi. White Sox and in the winters I go back to Terre Haute which is wear I am from.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Playing in the Reign

Well Al you saw yester day if you were watching E-Span that we plaid a morning game in Cleveland in the pouring rain which is about as much fun as washing a whippet that has crawled through a sewer pipe. We lost the game 10-1 or something and because it was a morning game after a nite game Ozzie Guillen let Burly throw about 179 pitches because Burly loves the rain so much he is a mudder Al. I did not play because I was the hero of the nite before and now we are back in Chi. to play the Marooners. 1 thing about a morning game is that Chris Widget got to catch in stead of gather splinters in his rear end which Al is his speciality. I ast Widget how he gets through those long nites on the bench he says he carries an Eye Pod which has the works of Proost as read in French by Gérard Dippitydoo. Proost I said is that like the Dovinchi Coad. Something like that said Chris only it is streaming consciousness right into my ears. Well we all have our ways of coaping Al I like the crosswords and Neil Cots buys a difrent lotery ticket each state we are in this week he bought 75 of these little Ohio tickets that say It's a Hit but it was a no-hitter Al.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

I Get in a Game Al

Al guess what we beat Cleve. last night and Ozzie Guillen put me in the game I have been in cold steerage till now. I do not know why I got the call perhaps they are show casing me for my trade to the Yankees for such names as Shuffled and Mats Who He that have been noised. Any way it was the 7th and I was playing soft toss in the bull pen with Man Soo Lee he is our Asian American catcher there when I heard a big shout and it seems Hugh Hefner of Cleve. had hit a grand slam off of Brenda McCarthy the kid was devistated. So the bull pen phone starts to ring off the hook and Ozzie Guillen asks Art Kusnyer Art he asks who have you got up and Art says no one and I say Art what am I chopped liver so Art says there's always Keefe and then he holds the phone away from his ear as if some 1 was hollering. So what happens but I enter the game and quickly two guys make out and there must have been an out already cause I was back in the dug out and A. J. Pierogi was mussing my hair. So as I say Al we got the win and I am credited with a Hold and a Saved Save.

Monday, May 01, 2006

My Contract Talks

Al as you know I make $312 thousand a year which is less than the minimium I do not know quite Y but Ozzie Guillen thinks I am under a grand feather Clause. This will not do Al as I am in my prime and must start urning in baseball you retire at 33 and you must have a penchant to support you in your golden Years. Now today I went in to see Mr Williams and told him I must make $17 million next year and if he does not like to pay that he must trade me to the Yankees and they will pay $14M of it and he will only be on the Hook for three. Mr Williams said Keefe why would you want to leave Chi. it is close to your home in Terre Haute and every 1 loves you here. I said Mr Williams it is not about the money or the love but I would never of sined with Chi. if I would have knowed that you were not trying to compeat. I would have sined instead with the Houston Asteros or Cincinati if I had known it would just of been me and these 24 kids. Mr Williams I said I need to play on a winner and the Sox have only won the World Serious once since I have been here and we have not even made the play offs in over six months. Mr Williams said Keefe I will think about it but mean while I am fining you $15 thousand for insupportination and I said Mr Williams I will gladly pay my fine and take my Medisin it is a matter of Principal.