Jack Keefe's Blog

Location: Chicago, Illinoise

I pitch for the Chi. White Sox and in the winters I go back to Terre Haute which is wear I am from.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Hunter Pez is Hurt

Well Al I guess you have heard the big news of the week in Spring Traneing which happened over in Fla. Hunter Pez of the Houston club got hurt did I put that HDML in rite Al. Pez says silly him in the middle of the nite he and a pal got up to take a Ja Cousy and his buddy left a door of invisible Glass shut and Pez was so X cited about his bath he went running full Tilt into the door and suffert Full Frontal Pain in the Glass. Al now you may say Pez was half seas over but I have knowed him since he was a track star at the University of Texas at Anywhere and the lad takes nothing but a nitely Root Beer. People will scoof Al but Ball Players do things strenuously and are at Risk just this week here in Twos On Bobby Jinks put too much Wasabby on his Arizona Roll and burnt his Soft Palette whilst German Die tried to lift up the back end of the team Bus and hurniated a Disk and A.J. Pierogi drank sixteen dry Manhattans and bonked his head on a Urinal at Slippery Sams Saloon though I guess you could say the latter was AJ's own Fault.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Two's On For Sure

Al I am in Two's On at Spring Traneing and today I played Soft Toss with my old pal A. J. Pierogi it is a game where the name says it all you just toss the old horse hide softly only A.J. likes to shy every 3rd one at your cup and you have to react quickly Al. Now our new OF Nick Swishy is a Internet surfer and he says when you blog you have to put in a link to some thing in the news well today I read that the Boston Patriots have gave all their shirts and caps that say 19-0 Super Bowl LXIX Champions to some kids in Knickeragua that have no shirts and caps. Now this gives me an idea because you know Al I did not think we could lose the World Serious in Ought Six and so I had five K of bandannas made up that said Chisox World Champs and last year I thought I would hedge my bets and I just had a thousand Pogs prinned that said Chisox Central Division Third Place Winners and I could not sell nary a 1. But now Nick says I can give them away to kids in the 3rd World and write them off my Ten Forty what a break Al plus I will not have to check an extra bag on my way back to Chi. once we are done Traneing.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Still in O'hair

Well Al I am still on the Tar Mack but we get daley updates of what occurs in the out side world via CBS Eye on American. Now they are all up set because Roger Clemens says that Andy Petty is a misrememberer or in plane English a lying sack of Doo. But there is a Congersman who says that Andy Petty is a hero and people do not know which weigh is up. Petty says that McAfee has injested him with Stereos and Human Girth Whoremoan and injested Roger Clemens while he was at it and McAfee says likewise he's sure and Roger Clemens says that they couldn't spit out the truth if it was a wad of Juicy Fruit now all I can say is I half never seen Stereos in the club house and Ozzie Guillen would not allough it and some say our 1B Jim Tumi has stuck stereos in his Keister but if you knew Tumi you know that even when he eats a Salad he washes every leaf three times in Dassanny water he will not take in a im pure thing Al.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

On My Way to Two's On

Well Al I am bloging from a run way at O'Hair Air Port be cause this year I have decided to fly to Two's On on a jet airplane rather than put any more miles on my flivver. My flite to Two's On by way of Kansas City left on time this AM and we have gone about two hunderd feet and we are sitting on the Tar Mack Al. Now as you know in some states there is laws that say if you put say 200 people on an air plane then you must feed and clothe them if you in tend to keep them on the runway over night but not in Illinoise as of yet. We have no lites or water and we are 485th for take off but they said I could use my potable electronic devise so guess what Al I am entering a new chapter in Jack Keefes Blog and I called Ozzie Guillen on my cell phone and he said Keefe any chance they will just wheel you onto a siding and for get about you and I said Skip if I get snowed in I will dig my way to Sox Park come opning Day.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

I am Bloging Again

Well Al this is your old pal Jack Keefe and as you know I have not blogged in donkeys years and not only as I said at the time it is hard to pitch in the Major Leagues and blog every day but also I have been a little deepressed because we White Sox have not won a World Serious since Two Thousand and Ought Five but as Ozzie Guillen always says Las penas con pan son menos which he says means eat a plate of spagetti and forget about it and this is my motto from now on.

Now Al as you have heard unless you live under a Rock they are all up set about Roger Clemens and has he used Human Growth Hormone and also his wife who wanted to fill out her top for the Swim Suit Issue now if you ask me less is more in some locations but there is no Accounting for Tased. Now here is the question did Roger really use Human Growth Hormoan and if you ask me Al he has not grown a bit since he was a Rookie and as pitchers go his Size is in the Mid Range I asked Bobby Jinks who is quite a bit more Ampoule than Roger if he used Human Growth and Bobby said Jacko I got to be this size by applying the Baconator so you see Al just looking at a guy you can not tell if he In Jests.